# Television Adverts



## JoT (Aug 12, 2003)

I am fed up of crap foreign TV adverts with wholesome looking actors badly dubbed into English .... its a load of bollocks .... still I suppose as we don't make anything anymore its not suprising









Gone are the days of the Milky Bar Kid, Pick up a Penguin, and the king of them all, Smash Martians


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## mach 0.0013137 (Jan 10, 2005)

Can someone explain why the tw*t on the Cillet Bang advert is shouting, do they think we are all deaf?


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## Roger (May 17, 2003)

2 things......

1/ Who but a complete moron would, in this country, call a cleaner "CIF" ? who would like to have CIF?? or is it just my gereration that worried about catching it?

2/ We, along with probably loads of others, have been annoyed by the increase in audio level during ads (TV companies deny it). I have access to audio measuring equipment, and have found a 7 to 8 Decibel (weighted average) increase during ads. For those not familiar with decibels...a 3dB increase is double.

Anyone else annoyed by this?

My answer.....if you have a hard disk PVR....put it on timeslip and delay the styart by 10 minutes...it is then possible to fast forward thru the ads.

Roger (now grumpy old man!)


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## Stan (Aug 7, 2003)

Bang, what a frigging stupid name for a cleaning solution.

"I'm just Banging the bathroom, can you feed the cat?"

"The kitchen looks like it could do with a good Banging, I'll do it tomorrow."

FFS, give us our Opal Fruits and Marathons back you soft .


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## JoT (Aug 12, 2003)

Stan I haven't bought a "Snickers" since they changed the name from "Marathon"









Another one that annoys me is JIF now known as CIF ... now JIF made sense ..... clean in a jiffy perhaps?

Turns out that the owners of the brand "Lever Faberge" decided that our European cousins had difficulty pronouncing JIF and that we British could manage CIF even though is is a meaningless word









Or was it the fact that in parts of Europe a Jif is a hand-job







perhaps they should have thought more about CIF ..... "come in face" according to the Urban Dictionary







.... and I used to think it meant "carriage insurance freight"


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## thorpey69 (Feb 8, 2006)

Gotta admit i would like to hear a bang noise when Barry scott blows himself up,what an annoying twat,always having to turn the tv down when the adverts come on,drives me mad.


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## JoT (Aug 12, 2003)

Lever's had the sense not to force the name on the Aussies though ... still called Jif down under


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## jasonm (Nov 22, 2003)

There are some great ads on at the mo though,

Lynx ( the guy with gushing pits....)

Guiness ( the mudskippers)


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## JoT (Aug 12, 2003)

jasonm said:


> There are some great ads on at the mo though,
> 
> Lynx ( the guy with gushing pits....)
> 
> Guiness ( the mudskippers)


Yes the Guiness advert is excellent ...... gushing pits funny but dubbed


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## mach 0.0013137 (Jan 10, 2005)

Guiness mudskippers is pure genius 









Marathon made some sense implying it could give you energy for hours but snickers WTF is that about?









What a completely meaningless & totally crap name
















Mac, an increasingly grumpy old man


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## mach 0.0013137 (Jan 10, 2005)

I`a also well pissed off about how loud the adverts are getting, I`m not f**king deaf you know!!


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## DAVID (Mar 17, 2003)

Barry Scott ? who the hell is he -techno star Barry

Also irritated by the increase in volume, thought it was just me.

Used to be some great ads around, these days I think the ad industry does not try too hard at all.

My pet hate is that berk doing the yellow pages ads - has a 2 seater - wife preggers ? instantly needs a people carrier.

Know a dog trainer who does emergency call outs ? No ? Neither do I.

The other ones set in some mythical city are just as annoying. Is it Milan, Madrid, Los Angeles ? Either way the sun always shines, everyone spends all day on their mobile, and the attractive young police women , with heartburn, still direct traffic by hand and speak with slight Yorkshire accents. Weird place.

But the worst are mobile phone company adbverts - all of them, especially voiced by Sean Bean (often wondered is it Shorn Born or Seen Been ?) and the one where a group are assembling giant inflatable animals - Racoon/Gerbil/Halibut/Dolphin WTF ??????????????









Rant over .D.


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## mach 0.0013137 (Jan 10, 2005)

The techno Barry Scott was excellent but the E-sure version was a real winner
















They should use it on TV instead of the original


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## mach 0.0013137 (Jan 10, 2005)

I think the Golgafrinchan had the right idea about what to do with Marketing Executives

Management Consultants & Advertising people









Anyone know where we could find an enormous mutant star goat ?


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## limey (Aug 24, 2006)

Yes, but on the whole your commercials are better than the sh*t they have over here. Some companies do have the hang of it, but not many.

Here's a clue: "Make it entertaining" That's all, no hard sell, you may not even need to sell at all. But if it's funny or memorable then people WILL remember it. Of course, people remember it if it's *****, too, but that should be pretty low on an ad exec's list of selling points. Can just see it now, some slick, buttoned-up City ad man telling his client, "Well, it's crap but the public will remember it".

I remember with much fondness the old Carling Black Label commercials. "Alas, poor Yorrick", etc....

The best we have over here is the Geico gecko. Geico is an insurance company, selling car insurance. The gecko has an English accent!

The best they do over here is for the Super Bowl. {aka the World Championship of Football, let's not go there - I love this country but they still have issues}

Martin


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## albini13 (Jan 25, 2005)

There are a few adverts that REAAAALLLYY get my goat:

1. The BOGOFF Safestyle windows advert. " I SAID YOU BUY ONE YOU GET 1 FREE, I SAID YOU BUY 1 YOU GET 1 FREE". Grrrrrrrr, who is that man? I could kick his teeth in.

2. Do you have the right to buy your council house? (In the background it shows pictues of sewing machine operators, coal miners, mechanics, etc etc), a stereotypical outlook which really makes me want to crush a grape.

3. Can I get a Loan? I C YES You Can !! Can I still get one considering i've been bankrupt? I C Yes You Can.

Can I shove this napalm tipped poker down your throat. I C Yes You Can !! (lol I added the last bit just incase you didn't notice)

4. Any womens shampoo advert where the woman pretends to have an orgasm in a field or under a waterfall.

5. The Halifax advert with that GOON that sings the (extra extra) song. Ok at first it was (and i'm really pushing) mildly amusing, but now he's turned into claymation and his colleagues are in on the game. Bit of advice for you and the Halifax team. STOP IT NOW YOU'RE NOT FUNNY !!!

6. There's a Woman's magazine (I think it's called Take A Break), where a policeman, a fireman and a woman are singing a song to sell the mag (very vague i know but a shocker all the same)

7. Frosties !!! They're gonna taste greeaat, they're gonna taste greeaat !! Let me tell you son, keep singing like that and the only thing that's gonna taste great is your first spoon full of mashed banana when you come around from your concussion.


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## pg tips (May 16, 2003)

The AA men singing in the snow gets my goat!


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## JoT (Aug 12, 2003)

albini and PG I agree they are bad .... I would like to add the decidedly unsafe practice of RAC men with rocket boots ..... what a load of bollocks that advert is.

American adverts are poor as limey pointed out ... with one exception ... the Budweiser frogs ... brilliant!


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## rhaythorne (Jan 12, 2004)

Yes, Barry Scott is particularly irritating. I have visions of smiling wickedly whilst pouring Cillit Bang down his throat to make him shut up







OK, perhaps that's going a bit over the top









Other adverts that annoy me are the endelss ones for "specialist" lawyers - personal injury, endowment claims etc. etc. and finance companies purporting to consolidate your debts and minimise your monthly payments... so long as you don't mind paying them off for the next quater of a century or so. Then there are those for organisations like the NSPCC and RSPCA. Good causes, yes, but it's the emotional blackmail I can't stand - endless pictures of fluffy kittens or tearfull children with Kate Bush wailing sorrowfully in the background, but hey, you'll feel better if you give them Â£2 a month









I loved the M&S ad with Twiggy, Erin O'Connor, Laura Bailey, Noemie Lenoir and the Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel soundtrack









Any number of Guiness ads are great.

But these were my favourites:

R.I.P, the Flake Girl


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## mach 0.0013137 (Jan 10, 2005)

I know what you mean about those injury claims ads, my pet hate is the " I was installing an alarm system and was given the wrong ladder" well why feck did you go up it then twat!!


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## PhilM (Nov 5, 2004)

What about the Mr Muscle advert, now that's pretty bad


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## Running_man (Dec 2, 2005)

rhaythorne said:


> I loved the M&S ad with Twiggy, Erin O'Connor, Laura Bailey, Noemie Lenoir and the Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel soundtrack


Agreed. She might be getting on slightly but you still would. Personal injury ads also piss me off. If I've been in an accident and it wasn't my fault, I won't call on some scavenging slimeball company who pretends to give a sh*t about my welfare when all they really want a large cut of my payout.

I personally hate the Andrex ads with the camply voiced over Labrador puppy. Makes me cringe every time. A talking dog is one thing but one with a voice like that wants boxing up and posting to Korea.

Most car ads bother me too.

Is this turning into the RLT Forums Grumpy Old Men Society? Count me in!

Andrew.


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## pg tips (May 16, 2003)

What about the "Shake and Vac" advert?

A timeless classic









Who remembers the secret lemonade drinker?


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## Running_man (Dec 2, 2005)

pg tips said:


> What about the "Shake and Vac" advert?
> 
> A timeless classic
> 
> ...


I remember them both well Paul! It begs the question, why did the bloke in the R. Whites ad deem the consumption of lemonade so illicit?!

I heard that the bloke who played him was in fact Elvis Costello's dad. Don't know if it's true or an urban myth.

Andrew.


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## mach 0.0013137 (Jan 10, 2005)

Running_man said:


> rhaythorne said:
> 
> 
> > I loved the M&S ad with Twiggy, Erin O'Connor, Laura Bailey, Noemie Lenoir and the Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel soundtrack


I really loath the M&S ads "this isn`t just a craple pie, it`s an M&S craple pie"











> I personally hate the Andrex ads with the camply voiced over Labrador puppy. Makes me cringe every time. A talking dog is one thing but one with a voice like that wants boxing up and posting to Korea.


The idea of wiping your







with a paper embosed with pictures of puppies sounds really weird to me











> Is this turning into the RLT Forums Grumpy Old Men Society? Count me in!


Sounds good to me


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## LuvWatch (May 14, 2004)

Adverts can be just plain banal with no imagination at all....there some exceptions though.........







Bud Light

Derek


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## Nalu (Nov 28, 2003)

limey said:


> *The best we have over here* is the Geico gecko. Geico is an insurance company, selling car insurance. The gecko has an English accent!
> 
> The best they do over here is for the Super Bowl. {aka the World Championship of Football, let's not go there - I love this country but they still have issues}
> 
> Martin


Martin, I have to disagree. Uniformly, the best adverts are done by ESPN and they're on year round. This one is quite timely (it came out last year IIRC, but it's a classic):






For the EU crowd, the Univeristy of Florida's mascot is the 'Gator. Florida have one of the better athletic programs going in multiple sports.


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## limey (Aug 24, 2006)

Colin,

That is classic... I haven't seen it before.

You are correct, and I am guilty of exaggeration. There ARE some good ones. [and I just read your quotes from my posts - how can I have TWO best ones??? Sorry







]

I just hate the hard sell, ours-is-better-than-theirs, new-AND-improved (How can this be???), see how many times we can repeat the 800 number in 30 seconds crap. And then the crappy cable company repeats the same damn commercial as soon as it ends. HELLO?????

It drives me mad, especially when the wife/daughter flip the channel as soon as the commercials come on and hunt for something else to watch. Maybe they both have a short attention span, but when I'm watching a program [usually Law & Order or CSI] I want to watch it all the way through. So, I'll sit through the ad's for fear of missing that one critical plot development.

[/rant]

Martin


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## Steve264 (May 29, 2006)

Running_man said:


> I heard that the bloke who played him was in fact Elvis Costello's dad. Don't know if it's true or an urban myth.
> 
> Andrew.


No, it was Declan McManus (before he called himself Elvis Costello) who sang the"Secret Lemonade Drinker" song on the advert. He may even have written it, iirc...


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