# Apparently 58 Is Not Enough



## BondandBigM (Apr 4, 2007)

Big M is having a short spell in hospital so at visiting after half an hour I get bored and the engineer in me started to have a fiddle around with the equipment she was hooked up to. I disconnected her monitoring kit and wired myself up.

All hell broke lose with alarms going off as I have a very low heart beat and when the machine registered 58 bmp it wasn't enough to stop all the other things pumping up, a blood pressure thing on her arm and some similar pump up things on her legs blowing up as well !!

Neither she or the nurses were amused

I've been asked to leave plenty of boozers before but never a hospital

:lol: :lol:


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## Raptor (May 1, 2010)

Lol, you kn0b, what did you think would happen?


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## Boxbrownie (Aug 11, 2005)

Probably more a reaction to the Vodka content than pressure! :lol:

Give B-M my best......and let her know the ironing will still be there when she gets home :shout:


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## BondandBigM (Apr 4, 2007)

Raptor said:


> Lol, you kn0b, what did you think would happen?


Wasn't sure that was part of the fun, got bored with the tv and the bed remote controls, Big M was still a bit ga-ga from the gas and morphine so not making a lot of sense. I'm not sure what the airbags on her legs were for but the pump bit was at the bottom of the bed so had a look at that as well.

I guess it was taking the pulse thing of her finger that caused the problem, she flatlined them made a miraculous recovery, just not enough bpm and the blood pressure thing on her arm kicked in.

What else is there to do after you've scoffed the grapes

:lol: :lol:


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## William_Wilson (May 21, 2007)

The things on her legs were likely to prevent blood clots from killing her. 

Later,

William


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## Boxbrownie (Aug 11, 2005)

William_Wilson said:


> The things on her legs were likely to prevent blood clots from killing her.
> 
> Later,
> 
> William


Bond was worried they might be for something serious.........


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## RTM Boy (Jun 1, 2011)

BondandBigM said:


> I've been asked to leave plenty of boozers before but never a hospital


Bond, did you visit the boozer before visiting the hospital??? Two evictions in one evening, perhaps? :lol:

In my experience your average boozer is a better place to be in when you're ill. You can actually get something to drink and eat and it's certainly more restful than your average hospital. If there's a copy of Black's Medical Dictionary and Davidson's Principles and Practices of Medicine behind the bar, that's most of what you'll ever need to know


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## Haggis (Apr 20, 2009)

Something similar happened to me I was being monitored and a couple of the suction cap sensors fell off, flat liner, the NHS don't half move in an emergency.

All the best to your special lady from all the guys here. And ladies. :thumbup:


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## mel (Dec 6, 2006)

RTM Boy said:


> BondandBigM said:
> 
> 
> > I've been asked to leave plenty of boozers before but never a hospital
> ...


There's pubs in Enbra city centre that have that feature, near to Napiers Herbalist Shop and Hewit's Uniforms and Med Supplies, pint and a stehtoscope Please! :rofl2:

Used to be frequented by Burke and Hare - - -


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## BondandBigM (Apr 4, 2007)

Boxbrownie said:


> William_Wilson said:
> 
> 
> > The things on her legs were likely to prevent blood clots from killing her.
> ...


She wasn't going blue like the last time so I figured she was fine

:lol: :lol:

In a totally bizarre coincidence it seems my fiddling around might stand me in good stead, I had a call yesterday from an employment agency enquiring if I was interested in a job........in a medical supplies manufacturer. Interview tomorrow at half three

:grin:


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## Haggis (Apr 20, 2009)

Organ donation?


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## William_Wilson (May 21, 2007)

Haggis said:


> Organ donation?


:lol: :lol: :lol:

Just imagine the recipient of a liver graft: "Ohhh ohhh ohhh, I feel worse than I did before the transplant." 

Later,

William


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## Boxbrownie (Aug 11, 2005)

BondandBigM said:


> In a totally bizarre coincidence it seems my fiddling around might stand me in good stead, I had a call yesterday from an employment agency enquiring if I was interested in a job........in a medical supplies manufacturer. Interview tomorrow at half three
> 
> :grin:


And we thought the NHS was in trouble now!


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## MerlinShepherd (Sep 18, 2011)

You nutter Bond! Sounds like the sort of s**t I used to get up to when I was a teenager!

Believe me, I'm still tempted to do stuff like that particularly in hospitals where staff are not allowed to show their sense of humour.


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## BondandBigM (Apr 4, 2007)

A bit of an update, I managed to record a new low of 55bpm, a man barely alive :grin: there was a nurse came in to attend to Big M and he was a nice bloke, had a bit of chit chat and he said that wasn't a bad thing ?? And somehow the new low was recorded on her chart and now she blames me for her extended stay

:lol: :lol:










A very unflattering pic of her in her air bags that provided a bit of amusement once I figured out how they worked










Fortunately she is home now, just as well as I was running out of plates and clean socks !!! As for the job I'm waiting to hear, there were a few people after it, should find out tomorrow. Turned out its a place that manufactures implants, hip joints, artificial knee joints and so on. Not an issue a machine is a machine and I've worked on ones similar before so you never know.


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## Boxbrownie (Aug 11, 2005)

I'm a sucker for a bird in sexy stockings :lol:


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## BondandBigM (Apr 4, 2007)

Boxbrownie said:


> I'm a sucker for a bird in sexy stockings :lol:


You should see the ones she got sent home in !!

:lol: :lol:


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## Who. Me? (Jan 12, 2007)

BondandBigM said:


> Turned out its a place that manufactures implants, hip joints, artificial knee joints and so on. Not an issue a machine is a machine and I've worked on ones similar before so you never know.


Make yourself a few extras and become the new Steve Austin.


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## BondandBigM (Apr 4, 2007)

Who. Me? said:


> BondandBigM said:
> 
> 
> > Turned out its a place that manufactures implants, hip joints, artificial knee joints and so on. Not an issue a machine is a machine and I've worked on ones similar before so you never know.
> ...


Fitting them might be a bit of an issue

:lol: :lol:


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## Boxbrownie (Aug 11, 2005)

After posting the sexy legs pictures in here I am sure BigM will be willing to help fit those extra joints for you, and probably with a new form of keyhole surgey!  Ohhhh Matron!


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