# Good Old Fashioned British Rant



## albini13 (Jan 25, 2005)

Having watched the first couple of series of Grumpy Old Men on BBC2 and thoroughly loved it, it occured to me that as a part of our culture we love nothing more than to have a good old rant. So this is the place you can do it. Is it retail you hate? Customer services, banks, women that drive 4x4's to school and back, road humps, speed cameras, council tax, the government, pet owners (see political forum  ). Just go for it . The best thing of all, it's free.


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## JoT (Aug 12, 2003)

For me it's is quite simple:

"Big" government and its liberal left civil service that interferes in the minutiae of daily life.

These well meaning but largely misguided people do NOT know what is best for me.


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## albini13 (Jan 25, 2005)

Just finished watching a docu on BBC4 about the Vietnam war anyone see it?? I could have a massive rant about it but i won't.


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## JoT (Aug 12, 2003)

albini13 said:


> Just finished watching a docu on BBC4 about the Vietnam war anyone see it?? I could have a massive rant about it but i won't.
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Ahh the BBC ..... no doubt the documentary was even handed









BBC is cr*p


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## Griff (Feb 23, 2003)

It is still rightly respected the world over and in many cases with much jealousy


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## pmsbony (Oct 22, 2003)

To join in.

Fat women (it's always the fat ones). on trains with carrier bags. spending the whole clucking journey into central london searching through it looking for god knows what.

For the love of chisels ladies. Carrier bags are not that big, if what you wanted wasnt in there when you first looked the chances are that leaving it for five minutes and then trying again is not going to do the trick. And as for the ones who have another carrier bag inside the first bag - shootings too good for them.

As a writer I feel it my right to eavesdrop on peopkles conversations for the sake of my art. I love the short mobile conversations people have on their way home. You know the ones:

"I'm on the train, yeah, I'll be home normal time".

Completely pointless. I heard one the other day that has pared back to the bare minimum. This woman (she didn't have a carrier bag so I let her live), she was sat next to me and about two stops before she got off this happens:

1. woman dials a number

2. woman says 'it's me'

3. a pause

4. woman says 'yeah'

5. woman hangs up

that was it. Was she a spy/drug dealer/hitman setting up something dodgy or did this happen every do so that unless she said she was late all she had to do was confirm that all was quiet on the western (well south eastern in this case) front, and he would understand and drive out to meet her.

anyway rant over.

pete


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## JoT (Aug 12, 2003)

Griff said:


> It is still rightly respected the world over and in many cases with much jealousy
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Only by those who enjoy its left-wing green politically correct anti-American anti-Semitic agenda


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## albini13 (Jan 25, 2005)

pmsbony said:


> To join in.
> 
> Fat women (it's always the fat ones). on trains with carrier bags. spending the whole clucking journey into central london searching through it looking for god knows what.
> 
> ...


I remember going to Leicester on the train. As i was walking down the carriage trying to find a seat one appeared in front of me next to a middle aged ginger haired slightly over weight woman. She had her handbag and it's contents spread out all over the empty set next to her. As it was the only seat left i politely asked her if she minded if i sat next to her. Her reply was a bit of a shock to me. " CAN'T YOU SEE I'M NOT FINISHED HERE"!!!!! "GO AND FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO SIT"!!!. I stood there gobsmacked with about 15 people staring at me. So i thought no, sod you i'll wait which i did, and when she cleared her stuff away i calmly sat next to her with my walkman on full blast which i could tell was really [email protected]@@@g her off. Train travel it winds me up.


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## Griff (Feb 23, 2003)

JoT said:


> Griff said:
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> > It is still rightly respected the world over and in many cases with much jealousy
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What a load of bollocks


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## JoT (Aug 12, 2003)

Griff said:


> JoT said:
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> > Griff said:
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QED


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## Bill Thornton (Nov 17, 2005)

Too many bloody silly little emoticons on posts!


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## oldfogey (Nov 29, 2005)

albini13 said:


> ....i calmly sat next to her with my walkman on full blast which i could tell was really [email protected]@@@g her off. Train travel it winds me up.
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I thoroughly dislike the practice of people with a walkman assuming you want to listen to their music (?). I DON'T: GET SOME SEALED EARPHONE UNITS OR TURN IT DOWN.









Rant over







.


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## JoT (Aug 12, 2003)

I am with you on that oldfogey ...... personal music systems played too loud ..... zzzzchchchzzzzchzzchchchchzzzzchch .... it's even worse than one-sided mobile phone converstaions


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## rodiow (Nov 6, 2004)

........a little too much seems to worry or get to me these days ta for the invite to rant !

..., now I am getting older less tolerant more impatient and hardened just by experiencing day to day life on an overpopulated unfriendly planet I cant just help wondering why things are not getting better instead of seemingly worse?, ....I mean most of us can read history books and are educated enough to form an evaluation of past mistakes and learn a thing or two hopefully knowing what's right or wrong yes?....

So wet the Fluck is going ON ?????......How come we aint all chums by now ?

peace + less of the lovin or youl only end up wiv more kids!


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## albini13 (Jan 25, 2005)

oldfogey said:


> albini13 said:
> 
> 
> > ....i calmly sat next to her with my walkman on full blast which i could tell was really [email protected]@@@g her off.Â Train travel it winds me up.
> ...


That's why i did it. I hate it myself it's a guaranteed way to wind someone up. It's not as annoying as getting stuck in a post office queue on pension day when you only want to weigh a package yet you are stuck in the longest most slow moving queue in the world. Not only that every pensioner wants to talk to the clerk about the weather then when they have their pension they want to put 20 lines on the lottery and guess what!! They have bought 20 money bags filled with 1 and 2 pence pieces which needs counting out individually. This actually happened to me about a month ago.

Bless our old folk without em life wouldn't be the same, just please hurry the smeg up.


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## Stan (Aug 7, 2003)

Eyebrow hair.









Why the hell does it get thicker and need to be trimmed when you get older?

Is God taking the pee?

Whilst I'm on it, I hate forums where the chimps substitute bollocks for real words.

What the hell does prolly mean??? M8, RU and other such illiteracy?

Christ on a bike!! Haven't these bugger's been taught how to spell?

Let's see them bastardise "sod off".









Soz.


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## albini13 (Jan 25, 2005)

Stan said:


> Eyebrow hair.
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I cannot get an XBOX 360 !!!! I pre-ordered the smegger in September with Amazon (who are rapidly turning inot the worst online retailer i have ever used) , and i still haven't had it. If anyone knows of a retailer that has one please can you let me know, i'm prepared to travel (at least 2 miles)


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## Griff (Feb 23, 2003)

Not just eyebrow hair Stan...............check out the ear hair


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## Griff (Feb 23, 2003)

Here's an 'ere rabbit


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## rhaythorne (Jan 12, 2004)

Dave Allen used to tell a good joke about hair growing in unusual places as you get older. He said he wasn't sure whether it was coming from the arse up or the head down


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## Griff (Feb 23, 2003)




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## JoT (Aug 12, 2003)

That's one evil looking cat


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## oldfogey (Nov 29, 2005)

Griff -


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## raketakat (Sep 24, 2003)

Has anyone any idea how I can transplant hair from my chest, ears, nose etc onto my head







?


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## Bill Thornton (Nov 17, 2005)

raketakat said:


> Has anyone any idea how I can transplant hair from my chest, ears, nose etc onto my head
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well as for the ETC, bit you might try sticking your .............


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## Stan (Aug 7, 2003)

Nose hair, I may have to hide it by growing a moustache again.









Grey nose hair? This is not funny lads.


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## raketakat (Sep 24, 2003)

Bill Thornton said:


> raketakat said:
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> > Has anyone any idea how I can transplant hair from my chest, ears, nose etc onto my head
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It spends most of it's time there







.

It's not a beard I want though







.


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## Bill Thornton (Nov 17, 2005)

ROFL , sorry Stan!


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## Stan (Aug 7, 2003)

I don't mind being Standalf the Grey, Bill, honest.


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## Bill Thornton (Nov 17, 2005)

Stan said:


> I don't mind being Standalf the Grey, Bill, honest.
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Whilst I'm on it, I hate forums where the chimps substitute bollocks for real words.

What the hell does prolly mean??? M8, RU and other such illiteracy?

The sorry was for the acronym , not your pension for wizardry Stan!

OOOO OOOO OOOO (Bill taking off chimp)


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## Stan (Aug 7, 2003)

Silly old bugger.


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## albini13 (Jan 25, 2005)

Stan said:


> Silly old bugger.
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Hey Stan i'm pretty astounded that a snipper rant hasn't come out. Does this mean that you have started to accept the snipper????


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## Stan (Aug 7, 2003)

I'm in a snip free zone on this forum Gav.









When not at work snippage is a distant memory, like your first ever dose of the s***s.
















I don't know which I hate most, snippers or corporate lizards.

Correction, yes I do.


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## PeterN (Sep 1, 2005)

I hate, loath, detest and excoriate mobile phones, the worst invention ever. And not just because I work in a library! And yet now you're some kind of delusional wierdo if you don't have one. They turn people into cretinous, ill-mannered louts. Several times I've been helping someone with a detailed information enquiry and they've answered their phone, and then looked puzzled that I was a touch annoyed. Even when I've asked them how they'd feel if I broke off to answer the phone and ignored them for 10 minutes, I just get, "oh, hadn't thought of that".

I was once on the bus going home and a woman got on at the hospital already talking on a phone in a very loud, very Bratferd accent, sat at the back and accounced loudly: "doctor sez ah've gorra fatty liver, an' ah'm drinkin' too much, burra told 'im ah only drink 3 nights a week" By the time she got off I knew as much about her liver and social habits as the person she was speaking to did.


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## albini13 (Jan 25, 2005)

PeterN said:


> I hate, loath, detest and excoriate mobile phones, the worst invention ever. And not just because I work in a library! And yet now you're some kind of delusional wierdo if you don't have one. They turn people into cretinous, ill-mannered louts. Several times I've been helping someone with a detailed information enquiry and they've answered their phone, and then looked puzzled that I was a touch annoyed. Even when I've asked them how they'd feel if I broke off to answer the phone and ignored them for 10 minutes, I just get, "oh, hadn't thought of that".
> 
> I was once on the bus going home and a woman got on at the hospital already talking on a phone in a very loud, very Bratferd accent, sat at the back and accounced loudly: "doctor sez ah've gorra fatty liver, an' ah'm drinkin' too much, burra told 'im ah only drink 3 nights a week" By the time she got off I knew as much about her liver and social habits as the person she was speaking to did.
> 
> ...


LOL i kind of agree but you'd be glad of one if you broke down in the middle of knowhere. Stan are you still giving it "retro" with your choice of mobile phone??

Have to have a brief rant about something that happened today. Train operators announced that they are putting certain train fares up by as much as 10%. Last week i went to watch Ricky Hatton in Sheffield it cost me Â£26 return and the trains were late going both ways. I have just payed for a return flight to Berlin for Â£13.99 excluding airport tax !! Can you see my point??


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## MarkF (Jul 5, 2003)

Stan said:


> I'm in a snip free zone on this forum Gav.
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What's "snip"?







I am not sure I want to know the answer, it'll sound bad, corporate bad, it'll put me in a bad mood I know it.


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## Stan (Aug 7, 2003)

MarkF said:


> Stan said:
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> > I'm in a snip free zone on this forum Gav.
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Mark, it's not that bad but could end up a convoluted story so I won't bore you with it. A snipper is basically a soft c***, anorak or a boring fart with no life.










The company term for them is "Keen Ken", this makes my arse laugh to the point of an underwear change.
















I bet Billy Conolly is a little less polite about them?


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## Stan (Aug 7, 2003)

Gav,

Still have the StarTACs but I've got a Moto v171 now too. From the same stable but very much smaller and only cost Â£50.


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## Bill Thornton (Nov 17, 2005)

albini13 said:


> PeterN said:
> 
> 
> > I hate, loath, detest and excoriate mobile phones, the worst invention ever. And not just because I work in a library! And yet now you're some kind of delusional wierdo if you don't have one. They turn people into cretinous, ill-mannered louts. Several times I've been helping someone with a detailed information enquiry and they've answered their phone, and then looked puzzled that I was a touch annoyed. Even when I've asked them how they'd feel if I broke off to answer the phone and ignored them for 10 minutes, I just get, "oh, hadn't thought of that".
> ...


Talking of retro we still use a Motorola mr30 anyone using an older one?

I suppose its in keeping with the Leak 2000 Ive just bought , and the 15 year old

kit car I still run . Oh and then theres THAT record player

.Any one see a pattern emerging here ? ------- wait for it!!


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