# "Sir, Your Computer Has A Virus"



## Julian Latham (Jul 25, 2005)

Cold call this afternoon to tell me that my ISP had detected problems with my computer and had instructed the (Indian) 'technical support' to contact me and assist in resolving the problem.

"Thank you for the call ... and who is my ISP ? More to the point, who are you?"

Line went dead. Looks like this scam is still alive and kicking.


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## blackandgolduk (Apr 25, 2005)

I had the same type of call the other day - played it dumb to start with, then upped the ante... Had them on the 'phone for about ten minutes until I'd had enough.

"OK sir, turn your computer on..."

"Yep. OK. How do I do that?"

"What?"

"My partner normally does this bit. They're much better at technical stuff."

"Er..."

"Hold on, there's someone at the door....... OK, I'm back. Sorry, what did I need to do?"

"Turn on the computer."

"Are you from the bank?"

"No sir, we're working for <INSERT COMPANY THAT SOUNDS LIKE MICROSOFT>"

"Oh, OK. So you'll send an engineer round then? For free?"

"Your computer is running slow, we can fix it if you if you turn it on."

"It is on."

"Oh, OK..."

"Ha! Got you - I don't have a computer!"

"Oh, but..."

"Yeah, I do really." etc. etc. etc...

Then I simply point out that I'm not an idiot and hang up.


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## Cameron (Mar 2, 2011)

This scam is rife in Australia also. Been all over the news recently warning people. Never had a call myself - and if i am honest - it would be odd if someone did ring the home phone - especially my ISP as i have never had a call from them before.


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## Shangas (Jan 27, 2008)

It can't be that rife if I haven't heard of it. But then I hang up on telemarketing types within ten seconds of picking up the phone, so that's probably why.


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## martinzx (Aug 29, 2010)

http://www.youtube.c...feature=related


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## Julian Latham (Jul 25, 2005)

Shangas said:


> It can't be that rife if I haven't heard of it.


You're just being modest :rofl:


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## Boxbrownie (Aug 11, 2005)

Shangas said:


> It can't be that rife if I haven't heard of it. But then I hang up on telemarketing types within ten seconds of picking up the phone, so that's probably why.


No never hang up on them.....after 10 seconds listening to them tell them there is somebody at the door and you'll be back in a minute.......then just leave the phone off the hook for as long as it takes for them to get fed up.... :thumbup: I have had them still there after 15 minutes, hey its their bill! :rofl:


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## Boxbrownie (Aug 11, 2005)

martinzx said:


> http://www.youtube.c...feature=related


Content is from Channel 4 who have blocked it in my country? Just where do they thing Essex is? :wallbash:

No comments about "The only way....." please :boredom:


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## martinzx (Aug 29, 2010)

Boxbrownie said:


> Shangas said:
> 
> 
> > It can't be that rife if I haven't heard of it. But then I hang up on telemarketing types within ten seconds of picking up the phone, so that's probably why.
> ...


It will be probably be brilliant for them too, a lot get paid per minute 

Cheers martin


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## part_timer (Nov 26, 2008)

Oh dear, had the very same phonecall around 3 weeks ago.

I was in the middle of doing something when I took the call so I didn't have my wits about me. The Asian accented caller mumbled something about Microsoft and virus on your computer, and it took me a good few minutes to put two and two together to realise it was a scam 

I'm not oft exposed to spivs and the like, I'm much too trusting. I'm ashamed to say I'd be taken in by even the simplest of "The Real Hustle" gambits. :blush:


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## Boxbrownie (Aug 11, 2005)

martinzx said:


> Boxbrownie said:
> 
> 
> > Shangas said:
> ...


As long as it costs the company money with no return, thats fine with me


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## Chromejob (Jul 28, 2006)

http://www.snopes.com/fraud/telephone/microsoft.asp

I like the idea of holding them on the line indefinitely, but you could always say, "Sorry, you've got me on my wireless, give me your return number and I'll call you landline." :sly: Call them at the return #, if it's valid, give it to the police cybercrimes unit.


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## mel (Dec 6, 2006)

There's another response, works with all these types of calls, you just answer

"Yes!" or "Oh Yes" or "OoooH yes" or "Hmmm yes" to every question or instruction. Had fun last night with this one and the guy from "energy savers" kept going back on his script and trying again till he gave up. The call was 11 minutes long at that point. :yes:

"OoooH Yes!" I see it as a social service, protecting the gullible from scamsters - AKA as Telemarketing. If they're on the l;ine to me, they ain't bothering any old folks :to_become_senile:

Noticed an increase in phishing e-mails asking for donations to Disaster Relief for Japan, and now Texas already. Barstewrads all these people. Hang 'em and quarter 'em, and a bit of drawing would be good as well. :fear:

Or the *RED HOT* *POKER* up the ar*e would be suitable as well - - -


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## Chromejob (Jul 28, 2006)

Cripes, Mel,... I don't think I've ever read you being ... so vicious.... Go get 'em, mate. :drinks:


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## jasonm (Nov 22, 2003)

My Mother In Law paid them 

The classic con.... The in laws have indeed been having laptop and connection problems and logged it with BT etc so she genuinely thought it was a follow up from them etc......

Bastards :taz:


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## pg tips (May 16, 2003)

My wife told me she got called on Sunday whilst I was at work, luckily she knows all about these scammers.

"Hello, is that Miss Groom?"

No it's her mother

Could I speak to her please

May I ask who you are

Yes I am Rick from *mumbles a company name* we can see she has a problem with her computer

Well you'll have to ring back when my husband is here as he deals with the computer

It will only take a minute we just need her to press a couple of keys

OK I'l ask her hold on a minute... 5 minutes pass... She says's she's busy right now on SIMS can she ring you back?

Ah well that's not possible but while we have you Mrs Groom do you have a computer?

Wife hangs up!

Cheeky ****ers aren't they?


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## Davey P (Sep 9, 2010)

I used to be polite to the telemarketing people, taking the view that they're only doing their job etc, but not any more. I'm not rude, just very short and to the point. The conversations these days tend to go something like:

"Hi, can I speak to the person who deals with your telephone service please"

"Not interested thanks, 'bye"

"Hi, can you just confirm that you're with BT please"

"No"

"Hi, are you interested in saving money on your gas and electric bills Sir?"

"No"


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## pg tips (May 16, 2003)

I must admit I lost my rag with one girl who rang at dinner time on Easter Sunday, DO YOU PEOPLE NOT KNOW IT'S HOLY DAY TODAY? :taz:

Sad thing was she was cold calling from a charity that I already donate to, that reminds me I must cancel that direct debit!


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## scottishcammy (Jul 11, 2003)

I sometimes play the part of a religious nut, and have persuaded several to join in singing with me and saying prayers for several minutes, before shouting "You *ucking idiot, a HAHAHAHA".


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## Shangas (Jan 27, 2008)

ScottishCammy, SIR.

I salute you. If only I had the balls (but more likely, the patience) to do that. My actions are more in line with those of DaveyP.


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## Trotskey (Dec 26, 2010)

ScottishCammy, you need to get out more. :thumbsup:


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## AlanJohn (Mar 17, 2011)

blackandgolduk said:


> I had the same type of call the other day - played it dumb to start with, then upped the ante... Had them on the 'phone for about ten minutes until I'd had enough.
> 
> "OK sir, turn your computer on..."
> 
> ...


That was beautiful.You will have to get some taped music for next time and ask them to wait ,then turn on the music. Spike Milligan used to do that for cold calls.LOL.


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