# The Only Way Is Essex



## Roger the Dodger (Oct 5, 2009)

OMG! Has anyone seen this yet!!!??? The OIL and I were channel hopping and found this prog....we assumed it was played by actors, but it's real people!!! We were mesmerised....the girls are just like Catherine Tate's 'Lauren' character....isn't it though!

And don't even ask about the 'Vajazzle' (A combination of two [email protected]@ and dazzle) where the girl had her ladygarden shaved to within an inch of it's life and then had diamontes glued in place of her bush :yucky:  .............I await comments...innit!

:rofl2:


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## DaveOS (May 9, 2010)

It's not fictional?

Bloody hell these people actually exist.

I only saw it for about 5 minutes and wet myself laughing for around four of those.


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## minkle (Mar 17, 2008)

Its dramatised..badly. The adverts made it look amusing..but it was too bad to watch.


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## jmm1 (Aug 18, 2009)

How sad is that.

"SHA AP"


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## Roger the Dodger (Oct 5, 2009)

jmm1 said:


> "SHA AP"


Brilliant!!!! a typical quote from the show! :lol:


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## Roger the Dodger (Oct 5, 2009)

Dave O said:


> It's not fictional?
> 
> Bloody hell these people actually exist.
> 
> I only saw it for about 5 minutes and wet myself laughing for around four of those.


We watched the whole thing, and the episode after.... we need some dry pants!!! :rofl2:


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## a6cjn (Oct 29, 2009)

'Vajazzle'

:jawdrop:

:lol: :lol: :lol:






Chris


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## William_Wilson (May 21, 2007)

Good god!







When they stop speaking english, it becomes frightening. 

Later,

William


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## sparky the cat (Jan 28, 2009)

Help is at hand

HOW TO SPEAK ESSEX

This has been an invaluable guide to help us understand some Essex slang.

alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item

amant - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend")

assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc

awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost ("That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day")

branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?")

cort a panda - A rather large hamburger

dan in the maff - Unhappy ("Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit dan in the maff")

eye-eels - Women's shoes

Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre

garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired(Trace: "Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs ta go in the garrij cos it aint working proper")

Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island

lafarjik - Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik")

oi oi! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs

paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport

reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig")

Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's, popular soap opera, Eastenders go on holiday

tan - The city of London, the big smoke

webbats - Querying the location something or someone is. ("Webbats is me dole card Trace? I've gotta sign on in arf hour")

wonnid - 1. Desired, needed. 2. Wanted by the police

zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is. ("I told ya a fazzand times already")

Apologies to the guys and gals from Essex - but it makes a change from the Geordies getting it - Ha' way man, daint tack on soo


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## Roger the Dodger (Oct 5, 2009)

Ok.. seeing as I started this thread, I want to see all replies in 'Essex Speak' from now on....awww-right!......innit though?...... shaa-ap!









Edit...respec (sic = Latin for "as it was written")Sparky You got in B4 me! Vat translation is v mutts nuts may! (may = mate)


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## shadowninja (Apr 14, 2009)

It makes me cringe... it's like watching a car accident in slow motion. You don't want to watch but you can't help it.


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## justin tt1 (Feb 15, 2008)

Its not real. Also, most of the people who are the epitome of essex are usually from romford or dagenham which are basically east london.


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## BondandBigM (Apr 4, 2007)

Big M is an Essex Girl, fortunately she doesn't talk like that very often any more though. Of course she completely denies this, telling everyone she is actually from Kent but I don't believe her :lol: :lol:


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## funtimefrankie (Sep 8, 2009)

I really feel ashamed of being from Essex when I see things like that. Thankfully I was born in Epping and that at least is still pretty much the same as it was 40+ years ago.

I think though I might start saying I'm from Suffolk. I'd rather be known as a pig or sheep worrier than get bundled together with that rabble!

Frank


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## stefano34 (Sep 27, 2009)

one word SHI*E!


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## shadowninja (Apr 14, 2009)

Shut up!


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## Barryboy (Mar 21, 2006)

This waste of electricity is either a copy of or "inspired" by an execrable American programme called Jersey Shore.

It's much the same sort of dross... just the accents and the amounts of money are different.

Rob


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## William_Wilson (May 21, 2007)

Barryboy said:


> This waste of electricity is either a copy of or "inspired" by an execrable American programme called Jersey Shore.
> 
> It's much the same sort of dross... just the accents and the amounts of money are different.
> 
> Rob


That's pretty much what I thought. They both give you that icky feeling in your stomach. :yucky: :lol:

Later,

William


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