Actually in all seriousness I've managed to make it wind correctly now, the stem wasn't quite in right and the retaining screw (I'm sure that's not the correct term) was loose. A quick tighten of this and the crown and stem now seem happy to stay in the watch and wind the mechanism and if required will happily move the hands to adjust the now :)
This had me celebrating and starting to think about straps for the old girl when my hopes were dashed!!! It appears while the movement is happy to tick away, merrily sending the second hand skipping round the dial, it doesn't want to preform the same courtesy to either the hour or the minute hand :( These have now sat motionless and unloved, cruelly ignored by the movement for the last few hours! Any ideas what an idiot with a set of screw drivers next move should be?