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Roger the Dodger

Pranks we used to do at work (before H&S)

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Reading through the threads about vices and other tools that myself, @Turpinr and @WRENCH used back in the day reminded me of the pranks we used to play on each other before health and safety started frowning on things. Lunch time was always a good opportunity to pull a few stunts while the unfortunate fitter was away from his bench. One trick was to close their vice, then hammer the handle so tight it was impossible for them to open it again by hand. Another ruse was to turn their duckboard and stool upside down and screw the one to the other so that when they came back and tried to move their stool it was fixed imoveably to the duckboard. Their workboots could also be screwed to the duckboard. I remember being in the welding shop, and while one chap had his mask on welding something on the bench, another tack welded his exposed steel toecap to the metal leg of his bench...:laughing2dw: It was quite common to come back from lunch and find your hammer or toolbox tacked to the steel top of your bench. All pretty harmless fun back in the 70s, but I bet you wouldn't get away with it now. About the only thing that was frowned upon was messing about with airlines (ie. Firing things out of your airgun), or riding on the forks of a forklift...that led to instant dismissal. What japes did you get up to before H&S clamped down?...doesn't have to be engineering based...

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4 minutes ago, Roger the Dodger said:

What japes did you get up to before H&S clamped down?...doesn't have to be engineering based..

Five gallons of Swarfega over someone sitting on the bog as repayment for getting me with a carrier bag full of water the previous day. And taking 0.5mm off the end of someone's steel rule. Oh, and setting fire to a newspaper when someone was reading it.

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For a stage in the training centre we boraxo'd everybody's hair on their 18th birthday and that was when everyone had long hair.

In the training centre went we went for a brew or lunch a favourite trick was turning the coolant pipe towards someone, so when they switched the m/c on......and that coolant stunk:whistling:

A favourite of mine that I was reminded of yesterday was covering the inside of lads safety glasses (apart from the lens obviously) with marking blue.

I remember blokes having all sorts of things welded to their boots.

PS.I've not worked on a duck board for years, it's all rubber matting now 

Edited by Turpinr
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So many....

While someone was on the phone to a customer you would pull the phone away from their head, and when they tugged it back you let go and watched them hit themselves with the phone.

Swapping the 6 and 9 keys on a calculator 

The workshop floor was painted, and we got a tin of blue paint with runs all down the side and put it in the middle of the floor.  We then trimmed a puddle of paint that matched the runs out of aluminium,  painted it blue and dried it.  When matched to the paint tin it looked like a very convincing paint spill.  The manager,  Dick (by name and nature) went nuclear but we all denied knowledge.  The best bit was seeing the cleaner getting handfuls of paper towel to mop up the paint, only to see the aluminium puddle slide across the floor.

Filing the ball down in a mouse, creating a flat spot.  

Filling the air vents in a car full of holes - the punches holes from the bottom of a hole punch.  Turn the vents towards the drivers, fan on full and watch them start their car.

Brown sauce on the toilet flush handle.

Tapping two spanners together when a cam belt had just been changed to scare the mechanic.

The annoying 'happy birthday' tunes that birthday cards often had in them? We put one in the earpiece of a colleague desk phone.

When the receptionist used the tannoy, she would always say the persons name first and then we would shout out over the top something like "I LOVE YOU"

One more modern one on that them is to ask a supermarket to put an announcement out for someone to move their car.  Registration number NE1 4 A BJ

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One of the salesmen was chasing a deal with the electrical retailer Currys. We told him a Mr Dhansak had phoned and to call him back. He spent ten minutes arguing with their switchboard before he realised.

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44 minutes ago, spinynorman said:

One of the salesmen was chasing a deal with the electrical retailer Currys. We told him a Mr Dhansak had phoned and to call him back. He spent ten minutes arguing with their switchboard before he realised.

I gave a sales rep the telephone number for the Cardonald dogs home. Told him it was a company called Terrier Construction, and to ask for Jack Russell.

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An apprentice at work actually fell for one of the old left handed screwdriver jokes from the stores, last year.

I couldn't believe it as those jokes are at least 40 odd years old and we didn't have a store:laugh:

Tartan paint, waiting for a a long stand, bubble for a spirit level etc etc 

 

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4 minutes ago, Turpinr said:

An apprentice at work actually fell for one of the old left handed screwdriver jokes from the stores, last year.

I couldn't believe it as those jokes are at least 40 odd years old and we didn't have a store:laugh:

Tartan paint, waiting for a a long stand, bubble for a spirit level etc etc 

 

My pals dad warned me about all the old pranks, so when I got sent to a tool wholesaler for a "Long Stand" I went home and watched the telly. When I eventually went back, I explained the usual supplier didn't have one, so I went further afield in my search, and I was really apologetic about not getting it. The foreman swallowed it too.

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10 minutes ago, WRENCH said:

My pals dad warned me about all the old pranks, so when I got sent to a tool wholesaler for a "Long Stand" I went home and watched the telly. When I eventually went back, I explained the usual supplier didn't have one, so I went further afield in my search, and I was really apologetic about not getting it. The foreman swallowed it too.

I couldn't believe this lad had fallen for it because the lad who played it on him is a 35 year old mature apprentice, not known for his smarts:laugh:

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I need to set the scene first, @Biker will remember the places I’m on about! 
At a certain naval base in Scotland in the old days (60s/70s) The toilet blocks in the shithouse was basically a trough with wooden seats on it and a wooden partition between said seats. There was a hole in the wall at either end of the building where the trough entered and exited. The trough had seawater constantly running through it to get rid of all the ****! 
 

Well my mate and I being mere nippers at the time had a run in with the base grumpy bast**d! And he gave us hell. So we waited until he went for his morning read of the paper in the bog, we cut a piece of two inch thick cork that was used for insulation to slightly smaller than the width of the trough, we then piled oakum (tarred hemp used for caulking wooden decks) onto the cork.

Now the big doors opened outwards, so my mate went in and sneaked a block of wood against the grumpy basta**s door just as I set the oakum alight and floated it down the trough setting his arse on fire!! 
 

We then ran like f**k and denied all knowledge of the incident!   Oh how we laughed! :laugh:

 

 

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1 hour ago, Teg62x said:

I need to set the scene first, @Biker will remember the places I’m on about! 
At a certain naval base in Scotland in the old days (60s/70s) The toilet blocks in the shithouse was basically a trough with wooden seats on it and a wooden partition between said seats. There was a hole in the wall at either end of the building where the trough entered and exited. The trough had seawater constantly running through it to get rid of all the ****! 
 

Well my mate and I being mere nippers at the time had a run in with the base grumpy bast**d! And he gave us hell. So we waited until he went for his morning read of the paper in the bog, we cut a piece of two inch thick cork that was used for insulation to slightly smaller than the width of the trough, we then piled oakum (tarred hemp used for caulking wooden decks) onto the cork.

Now the big doors opened outwards, so my mate went in and sneaked a block of wood against the grumpy basta**s door just as I set the oakum alight and floated it down the trough setting his arse on fire!! 
 

We then ran like f**k and denied all knowledge of the incident!   Oh how we laughed! :laugh:

 

 

Fire was always good

:laughing2dw: :laughing2dw:

Back in the day when I was an apprentice in a big site the canteen was to far away so a lot of the older blokes just sat behind their machines at break time.

On bloke just had a old upturned five gallon drum to sit on. Just before break one of the lads tried filling it with acetylene from the welding bottles then a trail of thinners from it which was lit just as he sat down. Nobody was sure if it would work but it didn’t half go off with a bang. The boy was never the same again.

 

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3 hours ago, Turpinr said:

An apprentice at work actually fell for one of the old left handed screwdriver jokes from the stores, last year.

I couldn't believe it as those jokes are at least 40 odd years old and we didn't have a store:laugh:

Tartan paint, waiting for a a long stand, bubble for a spirit level etc etc 

 

Skyhooks and a metric adjustable spanner were always good items to send rookie apprentices to the stores for.

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In the early days of my mining career pranks were a normal thing, would get fired for them now!

 

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2 hours ago, Roger the Dodger said:

Skyhooks and a metric adjustable spanner were always good items to send rookie apprentices to the stores for.

Box of buff sparks, left-handed adjustable, cling film under the toilet seat.

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Always up to these kind of pranks in the past, never did me any harm, I grew up into a well rounded individual - Hated by everyone.

H&S be damned, if the victim didn't die, then it's all good!

"1 tin of Tartan paint and a long stand please Chief...."

2 hours later....   "Errr Chief?!?!"

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2 hours ago, JoT said:

In the early days of my mining career pranks were a normal thing, would get fired for them now!

 

I used to work for a company that made mining systems :thumbsup:

3 hours ago, BondandBigM said:

Fire was always good

:laughing2dw: :laughing2dw:

Back in the day when I was an apprentice in a big site the canteen was to far away so a lot of the older blokes just sat behind their machines at break time.

On bloke just had a old upturned five gallon drum to sit on. Just before break one of the lads tried filling it with acetylene from the welding bottles then a trail of thinners from it which was lit just as he sat down. Nobody was sure if it would work but it didn’t half go off with a bang. The boy was never the same again.

 

Back in the day when I was an apprentice in a big site the canteen was to far away so a lot of the older blokes just sat behind their machines at break time.

Aye, I remember those days.A bloke who my mate had his brew with stirred his tea up with an allen key that he wiped on an oily wiper.He said all the **** in the air would end up in his brew anyway.

16 minutes ago, WRENCH said:

Box of buff sparks, left-handed adjustable, cling film under the toilet seat.

Yeah box of sparks.:laugh:

We had a lad who didn't know how many thous (thousandths) there were in an inch.:hmmm9uh:

 

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Another jolly jape, was everyone had there own mug for their tea, and no one could use someone else’s cup it just wasn’t on. Anyway, there was this total grumpy prick (can’t remember if it was the same one as in the story above) who used to get on everybody’s tits with his moaning. 
So one day before tea break we broke into his locker by drilling the pop rivits out of the back of the locker, we then drilled a 2mm hole in the bottom of his mug and filled the hole with candle wax, re riveted the back of the locker and left. 
Come tea break we made sure everyone was in before grumpy. Now there was a massive urn in the tea room at the far end of the room, that everyone used. 
We all pretended to be reading the paper whilst watching him fill his mug at the urn, now he only got about five steps away from the urn before the wax melted and his tea dribbled out all over his overall!! He went mental and smashed his mug on the floor, demanding to know who had damaged his cup. Obviously we all denied everything   :laughing2dw:

 

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Unfortunately, a lot of our jolly japes are too disgusting for this forum..

*Biker looks over his shoulder and says…. "Whaddaya means you cup smells like a dirty willy?!?! - nowt to do with me!"*  :naughty:

 

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2 hours ago, Turpinr said:

I used to work for a company that made mining systems :thumbsup:

We had some good ones in the UK still got around 25 or so operating in UK who do about £1 billion of business - some big names have gone though

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5 hours ago, JoT said:

In the early days of my mining career pranks were a normal thing, would get fired for them now!

 

Or these days maybe even get locked up

:laughing2dw: :laughing2dw:

There was a fairly big river ran right through the middle of our site dividing it into The Light End and The Heavy End crossed by bridges and as you can imagine there was a lot of rivalries between the two sides. On more than a few occasions apprentices ended up in the water.

There was also a wood pattern shop for the foundry with a big sawdust pit and more than a few of us ended up chucked in there head first.

@Turpinr

I still have an old six inch Rabon&Chesterman rule that the graduations are barely visible for stirring my coffee and cup a soups, a quick wipe in the crook of my arm afterwards, I’m still alive.

:biggrin:

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1 hour ago, BondandBigM said:

There was also a wood pattern shop for the foundry with a big sawdust pit and more than a few of us ended up chucked in there head first.

@Turpinr

That's a term I haven't heard for a few years...the pattern makers shop. We had a pattern makers shop at BroomWade, where they made all the wooden patterns to create the sand moulds in the on site foundry. The pattern makers were really skilled carpenters, whose tapes and rulers were calibrated to be slightly bigger than normal. This allowed for the shrinkage of the castings as they cooled and thus ended up more or less the correct size, ready for final machining. Big castings like the crank cases of the big 'V Major' compressors went outside for a year to 'season' before being bought in and put through a huge shot blasting chamber before going to the machine shop.

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2 hours ago, BondandBigM said:

Or these days maybe even get locked up

:laughing2dw: :laughing2dw:

There was a fairly big river ran right through the middle of our site dividing it into The Light End and The Heavy End crossed by bridges and as you can imagine there was a lot of rivalries between the two sides. On more than a few occasions apprentices ended up in the water.

There was also a wood pattern shop for the foundry with a big sawdust pit and more than a few of us ended up chucked in there head first.

@Turpinr

I still have an old six inch Rabon&Chesterman rule that the graduations are barely visible for stirring my coffee and cup a soups, a quick wipe in the crook of my arm afterwards, I’m still alive.

:biggrin:

A Rabone and Chesterman rule is the only one to have and you can't ever call it a ruler, am I right :thumbsup:

I left one in my locker when I finished but still got a few at home 

2 hours ago, JoT said:

We had some good ones in the UK still got around 25 or so operating in UK who do about £1 billion of business - some big names have gone though

The one I worked for was in Manchester but had previously been in Blaydon

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30 minutes ago, Turpinr said:

A Rabone and Chesterman rule is the only one to have and you can't ever call it a ruler, am I right :thumbsup:

 

That's correct...a 'ruler' is a King or Queen, a 'rule' is a measure. I was guilty of referring to a rule as a ruler in my post above...:sorry:

Should have known better...

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32 minutes ago, Turpinr said:

A Rabone and Chesterman rule is the only one to have and you can't ever call it a ruler, am I right :thumbsup:

 

 

Correct 

4 minutes ago, Roger the Dodger said:

 

Should have known better...

Correct 

:laughing2dw: :laughing2dw:
 

I clocked in one last time on Tuesday

Unlike some of the young lads who think they can tell +/- a few thou with a rule when setting a fixture I’m a bit OCD and it has to be spot on.

:biggrin:

 

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18 minutes ago, BondandBigM said:

Correct 

Correct 

:laughing2dw: :laughing2dw:
 

I clocked in one last time on Tuesday

Unlike some of the young lads who think they can tell +/- a few thou with a rule when setting a fixture I’m a bit OCD and it has to be spot on.

:biggrin:

 

Bang on Mr Bond unless the plunger isn't actually touching the job:laugh:

Only joking :thumbsup:

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