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Barryboy

Things I Will Never Do Again As Long As I Live

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There are some experiences in life that are so bad that I have decided that I will never do them again as long as I have a hole in my arse:

Some of them:

Decorate the hall, stairs and landing

Take a holiday in Tunisia

Go on a 'Jeep Safari'

In a moment of drunken bravado agree to turn out for my pub rugby team

Drink a whole bottle of gin and a half a bottle of Capt. Morgan's Rum just to win a bet

Go to see the English Patient

Enter into a coversation with a Jehovah's Witness

Take out a credit card with Thomas Cook

Buy a Vauxhall

Tell the 710 that yes, it does make her arse look big

Go down the big. long slide in the waterpark

There are lots more but I'm sure you can come up with some of your own. Try not to be too graphic, eh, chaps?

Rob

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OK here goes

tell someone who was obsessed to the point his life revolved around WOW that I personally felt that it was for sad lonely unmarried gits who didn't have a life and schoolboys.

eat foods I hate just to be polite.

drive in a car with a learner driver without dual controls.

have an argument with a GF at 3 am 20 miles from home in her car without any money to get home.

buy a bargain cheap to sell it on and make a profit no matter what it is.

buy a fake/replica watch thinking its the real deal.

take so called mates advice about anything.

trust anyone who says trust me I know what I am doing

buy something I really don't need or want just "because its a bargain"

oh yes and tell the wife I didnt like the meal she just cooked when she still has it in her hand

Edited by sonyman

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Oh dear, far too many "things" to consider, one though, often pops into me head leaving me feeling agitated.

I'll never try on women's underwear again. The one and only time, resulted in immediate discovery, a fight involving myself, my fiancee, her brother and her dad and let me tell you, trying to fight in wildly inappropriate clothing is not something I'd ever want to go through again. Our engagement ended that same day.

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MarkF said:
Oh dear, far too many "things" to consider, one though, often pops into me head leaving me feeling agitated.

I'll never try on women's underwear again. The one and only time, resulted in immediate discovery, a fight involving myself, my fiancee, her brother and her dad :eek: and let me tell you, trying to fight in wildly inappropriate clothing is not something I'd ever want to go through again. Our engagement ended that same day.

thanks mate I now have a picture in my head that I don't want and cant seem to get rid of :rofl:

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Great idea for a thread

Here goes a few quick ones

Use Flybe for a connecting flight

Take the kids to a Spongbob Movie

Holiday In Magaluf

Challenge a 17 year old to a sprint across a carpark

Use a 3wood for safety of the 14th tee

Buy a used car from a family member

Give someone gift vouchers for Christmas

Buy RBS shares

Wear a yellow Miami Vice style jacket(I did look good in it but it was the 80's)

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Never, and I mean NEVER just quickly zap my leg with a stun gun thinking that theres no-way a small 9 volt battery is going to hurt. (Electric shocks tend to make the body convulse, making letting go of the f****** thing impossible). :(

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great topic.

ride a motor bike

take drugs

sleep around

apply for a credit card

go across the bay of biscay in february

send a watch to be repaired to anyone other than twickers.

get into as much trouble as i used too

caving

drink taquila

eat gnocchi

watch anything with sarah jessica parker in

dance in a club

go to australia.

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what a hoot.

Take somebodies word for it that a septic tank is empty and not verifying it before attacking it with a kango.

home dentistry

try to change a tapwasher without turning the water off.

drink a whole bottle of absinthe

walk from Soho to Walthamstow

Visit Cuba

that's all for now

Andy

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jaslfc5 said:
go across the bay of biscay in february

Done that, in winter anyway, somebody on board told me that is was a flat bottomed ferry and not designed for rough sea crossings

foztex said:
drink a whole bottle of absinthe

:jawdrop1:

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talking of flat bottom ferries, I had the most wonderful Spag Boll I've ever had in a restaurant in Ostend of all places, about an hour before boarding a FBF to Harwich, would have been October as we'd been to Munich for the beer fest.

A storm force 10 blew up 3 hours out, it was so bad we couldn't get into Harwich and they sailed down to Dover instead extending the agony by another 6 hours! I'm not a good sailor and that's one thing I hope never to do again! I have never felt so ill before or since.

I certainly learnt the lesson of eating a big meal before knowing what the predicted weather was on a sea crossing!

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Difficult even though I have done a load of really stupid things in my life I'm a sort of never say never person, but there are some

Get married again

Ski/Snowboard

Drink some clear unknown alcoholic home brew moonshine from an old Pepsi bottle

Go into a bar on the German border with a Rotherham skinhead when he's wearing an England shirt with England 5 Germany 1 on the back :o

Drink Vodka with a Russian

Go into a sex dungeon with a big Amazonian looking bird that was probably a bloke :blink:

Stay sober for a week :laugh:

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Barryboy said:
Tell the 710 that yes, it does make her arse look big

That's something I'd like to try sometime. I figure, do it with a big friendly and pleasant smile on your face, then turn and leave before she has time to process your reponse. :D This would be part of a larger plan to provide unexpected answers to questions, while looking like there coundn't be any other sensible answer. The idea being, when you do say something bad, they won't be sure. :teethsmile:

Later,

William

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Something I recently did which I wont do again (not that I can imagine ever doing it again) is say to my fiancee that Noel Edmunds looks like he has a witchetty grub for a penis that is constantly sniffing out somewhere to put it. Hmmmmm she was duly revolted by it but now I can't look at him without remembering what I said and having unwanted cerebral x-ray vision...arg......no more Deal or No Deal (that can only be a good thing though)

Sorry it's late !

Nick (note to self : stick to posts about watches !)

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grant1967 said:
Use Flybe for a connecting flight

How true :laugh:

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Go to Magaluf (or anywhere full of chavs)

By crap furniture as a stop gap (because its more expensive in the long term)

Lick icy metal

Lick an electric fly swot

Go out in a ship which isn't allowed out in anything more than sea state 6 when its very clearly at least sea state 8 :bad:

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Never again

The many things I did at sea when pissed for a bet/dare eg

1. climb a refinery fence in the middle of the night as we couldn't find the gates (topped with razor wire)

2. Steal a bike in a very dodgy area of Durban to get back to the ship. I was seen.

3. Reeve a wire through a block by jumping off a platform (30ft up) so my body weight would pull it through. It didn't :cry2:

4. Slide down companionway steps using my feet on the handrails in rough seas carrying a sledgehammer.

Non sea going only one.

Never go on a Waltzer as my neck has a vertabrae weakness that I didn't find out............till I went on a Waltzer. :cry2:

Alasdair

Edited by Alas

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Lived with a thick fiery tempered Irish girl for almost 9 years!!!!

Did an assault course at 50

Drank a bottle of proof rum

Get into a bar fight over a football match

Let myself get a lot overweight(not now!!)

Rent a flat from a private landlord

Asked a snooty woman for a dance who I knew would turn me down and yes........she did!!!!

Buy too many watches

Edited by Griff

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I'm sure I'll think of more...

Take an exam.

Believe that airlines are organised enough to make sure my luggage goes with me on a 45 minute flight change.

Go on a waltzer (only did it once when I was a kid and I hated it).

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