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I quite like some clothes, particularly my black leather jacket, which I bought from the now closed C & A(damn shame that!)

But ties!!! I hate ties, and not all that keen on suits either. But, the other day, I got up for work, and no clean shirt(On me tod yer see!), so went to work in me dirty collar with a f--k it attitude, but when I got home, I sat down with me pint mug of tea, and had a good long look at me pet cockateil, and I thought........what a great idea feathers are! Now, what if we all had feathers instead of clothes......no changing, buying new, or worries about style etc etc. What a bloody great idea! The boss compliments you on doing a great job......so you sit and preen yourself, the old feathers drop out......so you just grow new ones............you preen and smarten up your feathers to proudly display to a fancied female, dance in a circle with your feathers up, all the way round her, and even use your old ones for stuffing pillows and quilts. What a bloody fantastic idea!! :D

Hang on, I've just typed this stone sober..............HELP!!!!


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I'm a real cheap skate with clothes. I really object to paying £50 for a pair of jeans and the same for a shirt.

When it comes to my Motorbike gear though it's a different story.

"How much is that helmet?"

"£300 sir"

"Seems quite reasonable, and that jacket, only £400, bargain"

I have one suit which cost me a tenner from a charity shop.

I have discovered a shop called The Officers Club which is a bargain basement clothes shop.

I can go in with fifty quid and buy everything I need for a whole year with the exception of shoes. I buy Doc Martens which last ages.

My Wife is to clothes, what I am to watches. Especially shoes.

She thinks I don't take enough pride in my appearance and I say ******.

I wear clean clothes that I'm comfortable in and I'm not vein. She'd soon be complaining if I stopped to look at myself every 30 minutes in shop windows, or said "I must nip in there to try on these shoes or those jackets. SOD THAT. I already do that with watches.

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If there are any wives/partners out there who have anything like that no. of shoes/coats or anything else, then don't them EVER dare to criticise the fella for buying/amassing a collection of watches.

This is giving me an urge to go out right now and shop gaze some more watches!!! :)

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